Haidar's Corner

Have you ever had a dream within a dream, Inception For scarce does Reality grant us what we envision Yet you see I've finally met my Maiden of Distinction M'lady Hope is a charmed beauty of uncommon precision Sculpted and chiseled of all imperfection But anyway that's not part of the narration You see before meeting the daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Inspiration The seemingly fair, Lady Despair, had been playing with my emotions The Enchanter she was, carried no blame for our altercation Her parents: Madam Desire and Messr Desperation Had made promise of solemnization Alas uknown to our cognition Miss Bride Tobe aka Lady Despair, was a false impression Luckily, Mr. Providence the High Priest of Salvation Had witnessed Lady Despair's attempt at despoliation He had waded into the matter with his Lordship Judge Time for remediation And so it was no coincidental situation That Mr. Providence would be the one to introduce me to Lady Hope on the one condition ...

Dear Hon. Senator/Representative, Let me start by congratulating you on your recent victory to be my representative in the National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. It is indeed an auspicious occasion that has seen you ushered in at a time when 'Change' seems to be what defines the moment. Without taking too much of your time, as you must evidently have little of it to spare, reading only me as against the millions of people out there who are all waiting and expecting you to 'hit the ground running', I will go straight to the matter. I am first and foremost writing to express my outrage on the humongously outrageous sums that are being bandied about as the allowances that have been earned by past sessions of the National Assembly and will as well be earned by you and your colleagues in the newly inaugurated 8th Assembly. I would like to categorically state that it is a rip-off of extreme proportions to have such blatant sums doled out while so many...

So there I was in my car doing 120km/hour on the highway from Kaduna to Abuja one fine afternoon. I was wearing an earpiece listening to something interesting. Then out of no where this - thing - super fast - blew past me so fast, that some things happened to me all at once. First of all I thought my car had malfunctioned (blown tire or engine knocked). Then even though I was driving, it felt as if I had stopped in my tracks and at the same time the whole vehicle shook like a tipper truck disposing its payload. And then I saw it. Well not exactly it. Its backside. It was moving so fast it looked like I was seeing it in slow motion floating away and within a few moments it had disappeared into the horizon. By then - since I was luckily on the slow lane - I had slowed down and I promptly parked. I stepped out of the car and did a quick survey of the exterior to make sure that everything was still intact and no part of my vehicle had come undone. I popped the bonnet ...

So many thoughts scattered  In the ocean  That is my head I do fear for this wayfarer. And here I was thinking  I was normal  Uuntil I met you. Shattering the glasses  My assumptions  Opened the door  To the coastline of reality. Smashed to pieces  My fears  Like angry bull  In a China-shop I'm now bathed in silkiness  Serenity  Confidence my new skin I wear  Like crocodile  Or his cousin once removed,  The snake. I'd have been kidnapped  By heart and mind  If not for Providence  Who sent Guidance to guard Inhibitions have been very strict  Leaving no room for idleness  To cajole me into reverie  To send into coma of self-delusion. This journey must be concluded  To it's end which is a known  Unknown Haidarwali 201506111756hrs

Imagine this in the near future: "Hey! Dear I'm going to the Body Shop, do you need anything? "Umm, yeah could you pick up my new Enhancers. They've released the latest upgrade and I really want to wear my new skin to the ball tonight. Which reminds me, I've got to rush to Dr. Z for my dimple and cheek reconstruction session. He called a while ago that they got a new batch of the injection." And then this is already happening: Dialing/ringing tone... "Hello Mom, we just got back from the bank. They've got a donor who's got all the characteristics we need. He'll be making delivery by next week and the surrogate is on standby. I'm happy to announce that in nine month's time we'll be proud parents to a bouncing baby boy!" Maje Amin 201506111233hrs

Inna lilLahi Wa Inna ilaihi Raji'un. A little over forty (40) days ago, we lost our Patriarch Alhaji Imam Wali. It is with great sadness that I write of the passing away of his sister Hajiya Rabi Wali who was a Matriarch in her own right. Gwoggo was the epitome of zeal and the most lively spirit that I knew. She was a mother's mother And some would say A relative like no other. I'm yet to shed a tear For my eyes I fear The Robber Death has struck again Yet His is fulfillment of Destiny, plain. I can remember a time when I was a confused teenager and I went and met her. I asked her to clarify some issues concerning my guardianship. And this is what she said to me: "You are your own guardian." These words still reverberate in my head as I journey in life for they have been what I continuously struggle to be as a person. May Allah bless you Gwoggo for these words! (O Allah! I beseech thee to Forgive her, bestow mercy upon her, pardon h...