Melancholicity

Awake
I am afraid to close my eyes
for sleep has disappeared
I've also forgotten how to dream
all I have are memories
and so I daydream
turning back the hands of time
to that moment when I was little
playing with a toy
with everything but worries

worries
these inconveniences that weigh me down
crowding my mind
blotting the light I seek
would it have been I died
it might have eased the pain

pain
heavy like guilt; makes weary
soothing balm of forgetfulness
dulls like intoxicant
I swim and float
unaware of where
when, what and why
I am no body

body
this vessel feeling strange
like a body in possession
nothing is really yours
neither flesh nor thought
lucidity is a mirage that tricks
luring wayfarer to deserted dungeon
like quicksand in a maze
takes you a way
to another dream
where you awake.

Haidarwali 201901180058hrs

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