A STUDY ON THE SWEETNESS OF SUGARCANE

 

Hypotheses: 

1.       Sugarcane is sweet.

2.       Sugarcane is not sweet.

Research Questions:

1.       What is the nature of the sweetness of sugarcane?

2.       Why is sugarcane sweet?

Analyses:

1.       All respondents vehemently replied that sugarcane is sweet and that it is offensive to even attempt to prove otherwise.

2.       Using Einstein’s laws of thermodynamics, the nature of the sweetness of sugarcane is as follows:

                                 i.            Zeroeth Law: If a person takes two chunks of sugarcane and they are sweet, then that person will definitely take a third chunk.  

                               ii.            First Law: The sweetness of sugarcane can be enjoyed but can neither be replicated nor ignored.

                             iii.            Second Law: The sweetness of sugarcane is responsible for the structural integrity of the sugarcane. Once the sweetness is removed, the sugarcane becomes ‘Bagasse’.

                             iv.            Third Law: You can never get all the sweetness of a sugercane intact and will either leave some or lose some in the process of extraction. 

3.       Sugarcane is sweet because it has ‘sugar’ in it.

4.       A condition known as ‘santi’ was observed to be exhibited by those who interacted with the sweetness of sugarcane. This involved an inexplicable drifting of subjects into a state of euphoria/delirium accompanied by amusing conversation that is quite funny and entertaining and it was noted that most ‘victims’ usually deny being in a state of ‘santi’. Most importantly, in a number of cases it was discovered that the sate of ‘santi’ produces valuable insights and observations about life.  

Conclusions:

1.       Sugarcane is sweet.

2.       The previous conclusion is incontrovertible.

Recommendations:

It is recommended that:  

1.       The sweetness of sugarcane should be legislated as a foregone issue and no-one should raise the issue again or they run the risk of being guilty of defamation/slander and may be charged for ‘saccharum libel’.

2.       Further research is needed into the state of ‘santi’ as a veritable tool for idea generation.

3.       While taking sugarcane, no one should drive, operate sensitive machinery, or be asked to engage in any activity that requires total and full concentration.

4.       Lastly, everyone should take sugarcane at least twice in their lifetime: first time for the experience; and the second time for validation.

Reference: Sugarcane aka Saccharum.