Press Release from Animalia on the Recent Mysterious Disappearance of Some Monetary Instruments in Niger-Area

"Our attention has been drawn to the brazen and shameless attempt to accuse we the members of the animal kingdom, of masterminding recents heists across the span and breadth of the Niger-area.
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We are hereby categorically and emphatically denouncing such and demand an immediate retraction of all such falsities being propagated.
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It is disturbing that despite our collective acquiescence to provide humans with all the necessary support for them to thrive even at the expense of our endangerment, we are still being targeted in a systematically covert putsch, seeking to dislodge our great leaders Their 'Highnesses' Sirs Lion and Elephant.
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Let it be known that we will not succumb to any form of blackmail or attempt at whitewashing, when we know that the grass is not greener on the other side. Not all roses are red but since sunflowers are yellow, then the sky should be blue. Sorry, I digress.
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So as I was saying,  we will not take it lying low,  for this is a matter of integrity and we animals do not play with our honour.
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In conclusion,  before ending I must notify you that as a fallout of a meeting we held, we have decided to declare a warning strike in solidarity with our brethren: Messrs Snake and Monkey who are unfairly going through the ignominy if this senseless branding as 'thieves'.
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For the time being, all fowls, chicken, goats, sheep, cows, camels and all other members of Meat Services Division are hereby called back from duty.
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All members of the Pet Services (Covert Intelligence) Division are hereby ordered to activate 'Hostile Mode'. This includes - but is not limited to - Special Agents Cat, Dog and Rat.
Members of Transport and Haulage Division are hereby demobilized except for emergency services that require rapid response. Hoqever Officers Donkey will be required to put in overtime during the period this strike to ensure there is no system failure.
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All other Divisions are required to be on standby to receive further directives.
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Our Legal Services Unit has since taken this case to the International Court of Justice where a hearing is set for 2019. We patiently await justice to be served while we continue to prepare for the imminent face-off with Humanity which seems unavoidable."
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Signed
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Sir Parrot Chakwaikwaiwa
Director-General
Publicity And Information Division
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This has been Maje Amin reporting for Hilarious News News Network (HNN). You can log on to our website www.hnn.......dazzol!

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