I Want Mine Too!!!
This
time last year we were made 'busy' by the executive proclamation of
intended 'diversion' of budgetary funds from Free Public Bonanza (aka
Subsidy) to Disappearance act Account (aka Sovereign Wealth Fund). We
are still awaiting the 'audited' 'balanced' statement of accounts for
the last financial year ended December 31st, 2012.
Anyway, I was complaining what happened to t...he Buses that were supposed to subsidize transport after the subsidy regime was scrapped. I later realized what happened:
Because the Nigerian people did not allow the full subsidy to be withdrawn, final payment for the buses was still outstanding and thus they couldn't be delivered.
Thus Nigerians better allow the full subsidy to be withdrawn if they want their buses. They are already buying fuel at the rate of almost no-subsidy...what's the difference anyway?
Well this year, out of the 'largesse' we were greeted with the benevolent New Year package of 10 million phones for farmers.
That is why I said: I want mine too!! These are my reasons:
1. First and foremost, I have been farming cassava in my backyard so much so that I am now called 'Aliyu Cassava Wali'. I am a farmer...so...I deserve
2. Secondly, I am Pro-cassava! (That is an understatement). I have so many products in the pipeline because I want to promote it to be my fatherland's mainstay of the economy (I am even proposing that a bill be sent to the National Assembly to make Cassava an official national emblem - it should appear in the middle of the white on our national flag).
3. I also want mine because the phone comes with the following goodies:
a. free internet for browsing and wireless. You can also watch NTA free (you don't need to subscribe).
b. there's radio & MP3 player(live broadcast of presidential speeches and preloaded versions of earlier broadcasts and phone-in programs for free),
c. flashlight (a pilot program of PHCN called: Light4All by 2014)
d. and my personal favourite: Farmer's Chat Network(FCN) whereby farmers of like mind will be able to network in solving common farming problems and alert each other in case of an attack by 'Noma-Haram (a new-breed of Locusts who are against farming).
4. Another reason why I want my own farmer's mobile phone is because I heard that each phone comes with a pre-loaded package of free transit from Kano to Lagos on the new Mass Transit Train just launched as part of the SURE program. All you need to do is dial 080-CASSAVA4LIFE, input your 4 digit PIN as a bonafide member of Farmers4-2015 and your booking would be paid and reserved (You'll even have first-class tickets)!
So I am waiting for my own mobile phone please.
P.S. please deliver to any of these addresses:
c/o Alhaji Dr. Hon. A. Cassava W. cbf(corrupt by force), smc(someone must chop), lmpg(let my people go), OFRN(Observer, Federal Republic of Nigeria)
No. 1 Minister’s Hill
Asokoro, Abuja
No. 15 Embassy Avenue
Maitama, Abuja
Have a wonderful week!
Anyway, I was complaining what happened to t...he Buses that were supposed to subsidize transport after the subsidy regime was scrapped. I later realized what happened:
Because the Nigerian people did not allow the full subsidy to be withdrawn, final payment for the buses was still outstanding and thus they couldn't be delivered.
Thus Nigerians better allow the full subsidy to be withdrawn if they want their buses. They are already buying fuel at the rate of almost no-subsidy...what's the difference anyway?
Well this year, out of the 'largesse' we were greeted with the benevolent New Year package of 10 million phones for farmers.
That is why I said: I want mine too!! These are my reasons:
1. First and foremost, I have been farming cassava in my backyard so much so that I am now called 'Aliyu Cassava Wali'. I am a farmer...so...I deserve
2. Secondly, I am Pro-cassava! (That is an understatement). I have so many products in the pipeline because I want to promote it to be my fatherland's mainstay of the economy (I am even proposing that a bill be sent to the National Assembly to make Cassava an official national emblem - it should appear in the middle of the white on our national flag).
3. I also want mine because the phone comes with the following goodies:
a. free internet for browsing and wireless. You can also watch NTA free (you don't need to subscribe).
b. there's radio & MP3 player(live broadcast of presidential speeches and preloaded versions of earlier broadcasts and phone-in programs for free),
c. flashlight (a pilot program of PHCN called: Light4All by 2014)
d. and my personal favourite: Farmer's Chat Network(FCN) whereby farmers of like mind will be able to network in solving common farming problems and alert each other in case of an attack by 'Noma-Haram (a new-breed of Locusts who are against farming).
4. Another reason why I want my own farmer's mobile phone is because I heard that each phone comes with a pre-loaded package of free transit from Kano to Lagos on the new Mass Transit Train just launched as part of the SURE program. All you need to do is dial 080-CASSAVA4LIFE, input your 4 digit PIN as a bonafide member of Farmers4-2015 and your booking would be paid and reserved (You'll even have first-class tickets)!
So I am waiting for my own mobile phone please.
P.S. please deliver to any of these addresses:
c/o Alhaji Dr. Hon. A. Cassava W. cbf(corrupt by force), smc(someone must chop), lmpg(let my people go), OFRN(Observer, Federal Republic of Nigeria)
No. 1 Minister’s Hill
Asokoro, Abuja
No. 15 Embassy Avenue
Maitama, Abuja
Have a wonderful week!
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